| MADE IN AMERICA? William H. Watson Cat on the Bed Productions, 2011 |
Rating: 4.0 High |
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| ISBN-13 978-1-46367441-0 | ||||
| ISBN 1-46367441-4 | 186pp. | SC | $11.00? | |
| Page 13: | "To fast, and without thinking, Cole blurted..." |
| Spelling: S/B "Too fast". |
| Page 13: | "His family had been pretending for years that they had the income to live in the big house, hiding the fact that his mother was admin at Carnegie Mellon University and his father was a factory worker." |
| Wording: S/B "was an admin". As written, it suggests his mother is part of the University administration, which would pay relatively well. |
| Page 13: | "...pot smoking by the young Edward's boy would signal their lower class status." |
| Unwanted apostrophe: S/B "Edwards". |
| Page 25: | "You should go the factory, speak Chinese, kiss their ass, and get a job." |
| Missing word: S/B "go to the factory". |
| Page 25: | "Looking confused, she said to Cole, 'Im sorry,'..." |
| Missing apostrophe: S/B "I'm sorry". |
| Page 31: | "You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of dating that girl, let alone get inner her pants." |
| Wording: S/B "getting into". |
| Page 32: | "He had loved his grandmother and had memorized her colorful sayings, such as 'It's as cold as a well diggers ass,' or 'I'm so busy I need to stick a broom us my ass to sweep the floor'." |
| S/B "a well digger's ass" and "a broom up my ass". |
| Page 35: | "There are 73 clubs at Mount Lebanon High School. The list started with..." |
| Improper choice of verb tense: S/B "were". |
| Page 48: | "Something didn't seem right. He studied their appearance. One wore a Steelers football shirt and baggy pants; the other wore a hooded sweatshirt, a Pirates baseball cap on backwards, and a pair of colorful basketball shoes with the laces not tied. Both men were clearly Chinese, but dressed as American as anyone at his school. [...] When he was directly behind them, using his best conversational Mandarin, he said..." |
| Leaving aside the unlikely attire, someone with shoelaces untied working on a robot invites a lost-time injury, and I doubt any auto plant would allow it. Then there's the matter of Cole speaking Mandarin within earshot of Qiang Li; later he apparently forgets he did so, and is careful not to let her know he can. |
| Page 50: | "I think you're just trying to find a reason why your father doesn't have an good job." |
| Spelling: S/B "a good job". |
| Page 55: | "Cole starred at the screen." |
| Spelling: S/B "stared". |
| Page 56: | "Things have changed, and there're going to change even more." |
| Spelling: S/B "they're". |
| Page 63: | "...it was difficult to tell exactly who they were, even with help from their sir names." |
| Spelling: S/B "surnames". |
| Page 68: | "...and blue lights on the eves of the house." |
| Spelling: S/B "eaves". |
| Page 68: | "Asked of Cole: "What do you parents do?" |
| Spelling: S/B "your". |
| Page 82: | "Cole's job is to monitor the delivery of these deliveries..." |
| Improper choice of verb tense: S/B "was". And "delivery of these deliveries" seems redundant. |
| Page 94: | "...and I can show her how well our Shipping & Receiving department in run." |
| Spelling: S/B "is". |
| Page 107: | "He went up to his room and hit a key on his computer to wake up his MAC." |
| Does this mean "Macintosh"? If so, it seems a roundabout way of saying it. (And I'd expect a prospective engineer to use a PC — especially if his family is strapped for cash.) |
| Page 118: | "Cole, you're family's here." |
| S/B "your". (And this is where Cole and Qiang Li start talking like they're engaged, even though they're not.) |
| Page 118: | "The journey he had planned reminded him of the Dickens's A Christmas Carole." |
| Spelling: S/B "Dickens's A Christmas Carol". (The title S/B in italics. I don't think the book uses italics anywhere.) |
| Page 119: | "Qiang Li had been silent for a long time, then said: '[...] It didn't know anything like this existed here." |
| Spelling: S/B "I didn't know". |
| Page 120: | "The ornate exterior architecture created for its construction as a turn of the century bank somehow seemed to support it's medieval sounding name." |
| Punctuation: S/B "its". |
| Page 127: | "Let's see ... Senior Material Planner won't due." |
| Spelling: S/B "won't do". |
| Page 129: | "Last night he went on-line to research Station Square..." |
| Improper choice of verb tense: S/B "had gone". |
| Page 131: | "They turned away from the riverfront, moved through the growing crowd, past the hulking Bessemer Converted..." |
| Spelling: S/B "Bessemer Converter". |
| Page 133: | "Like everyone else in China, my relatives were victims of those bad times. Maybe you could say there're survivors of those times." |
| Wording: S/B "they're survivors". |
| Page 134: | "Impossible quotas were set, and to meet them; the farmers melted down everything they could find, including their farm implements." |
| Swap the comma and semicolon: S/B "were set; and to meet them, the". |
| Page 136: | "She lead him to her car in the parking lot, and when they arrived..." |
| Improper choice of verb tense: S/B "led". |
| Page 142: | "The two rivers, Monongahela and Allegheny bisected the city." |
| Missing comma: S/B "Allegheny, bisected". |
| Page 143: | "Sally paused a moment, then replied, 'White Chardonnay. Yes, I want white.' " |
| Wow — chardonnay comes in red as well as white! And I thought this was a gaffe on Sally's part. Good thing I checked. |
| Pages 146-7: | "Cole's dad patted his suit pockets for his non-existent cards. 'There in my other suit.'" |
| Spelling: S/B "They're". |
| Page 148: | "Impulsively, he blurted out in Mandarin: 'Mrs. LI, thank you for the dinner. I'm sorry we are not Chinese." |
| Capitalization: S/B "Li". |
| Page 148: | "The Edward's car arrived first. They piled into the car and smiling and waiving, left the Li family on the sidewalk in a state of shock." |
| Misplaced apostrophe: S/B "Edwards'". |
| Page 148: | "The Edward's car arrived first. They piled into the car and smiling and waiving, left the Li family on the sidewalk in a state of shock." |
| Missing comma, spelling: S/B "and, smiling and waving". |
| Page 149: | "The ride home from the LeMont was an emotional one for the Edward's family." |
| Unwanted apostrophe: S/B "Edwards". |
| Page 155: | "When the house phone rang, everyone jumped. 'Its just some telemarketer,' Sally said, but Joe made her run to the phone and answered it." |
| Missing apostrophe, wrong verb tense: S/B "It's" and "and answer it". |
| Page 156: | "His dad smiled and added: 'I guess our little charade at the dinner worked it's magic, for you and me." |
| Unwanted apostrophe: S/B "worked its magic". |
| Page 156: | "They were a team, and for the fist time in a long while, their future looked bright." |
| Spelling: S/B "first". |
| Page 158: | "He kept silent and re-checked his seat beat." |
| Spelling: S/B "seat belt". |
| Page 159: | "Flutes were at the ready, waiting for the contents of a sweating bottle of Champaign." |
| It's nice to see Joe can manage an Urbana touch. <G> Spelling: S/B "champagne". (This occurs twice more; then on page 161 it's correct.) |
| Page 171: | "Everyday Cole observed something new." |
| Missing space: S/B "Every day". |
| Page 172: | "...don't sweat the rules; there're for other people..." |
| Spelling: S/B "they're". |
| Page 173: | "Are you angry, Tony" |
| Missing question mark: S/B "Tony?". |
| Page 175: | "Dad, do you have your passport and visa underway?" |
| Missing space: S/B "under way". |
| Page 175: | "They will also get me Chinese money for trip." |
| Missing word: S/B "for the trip". |
| Page 176: | "It's a big country, but it is also has a huge population." |
| Extra word: S/B "also has". |
| Page 177: | "The restaurant was typical of restaurants that cater to people for looking for a low cost meal..." |
| Wording: S/B "who are looking for". |
| Page 177: | "A chrome fixture on the table held soupspoons, chopsticks, and a bottle of soy sauce and hot oil." |
| Wording: S/B "bottles of soy sauce and hot oil". |
| Page 182: | "As he marked up the scheduled with a yellow highlighter, and it became clear he would be hopscotching through the week." |
| Spelling, extra word: S/B "schedule" and "it became clear". |
| Page 183: | "Maybe it was the university's way of weeding-out the well intentioned, but less motivated students." |
| Unwanted hyphen: S/B "weeding out". (Conversely, the author leaves out a hyphen in many places where I would use one — as in "well-intentioned.") |
| Page 183: | "At some point he may have to resume his mother's packed lunches..." |
| Improper choice of verb tense: S/B "might have to". |
| Page 184: | "I guess it the same for me..." |
| Spelling: S/B "it's". |
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